One of the things my wife and I are really big on is teaching our children is good communication skills.
Last week I came across this hilarious skit of Will Ferrel on the Jimmy Fallon Show. If nothing else take a look at it for just how clever Will Ferrel is. The guy is a comic genius.
However there are people out there with communication skills not too dissimilar to the above video. They have intelligence, but they have no people skills. They have no filter. They say whatever is on their mind, they talk over the top of people. Their conversation is one-way in that they can talk all about themselves, without even drawing breath to ask the other person about themself.
I am pretty sure that all of my children won’t be brain surgeons, (well, two out of the four better be, or they’re out of the family. Just joking!) but one thing we can teach them is good communication skills.
I have done a lot of employing over the years and as such I have sat through a lot of interviews. And while competence at the job being advertised is of importance, I am really looking for people who can talk well, carry themselves well, relate well with others, and have that emotional intelligence. I can train them on the rest, but as a base line they need their personality skills in place to be part of a team.
The workplace and the marketplace is about buying and selling. Accordingly it is about people being able to communicate well so that they can not only do their job effectively, but be a part of a harmonious workplace.
I‘ve seen so many young women desperate to get married because they believed it would fill that tiny hole in their heart and make them feel complete. If I am totally honest with you, that young woman was me. Subconsciously I assumed when I became a wife, any sense of self-doubt and insecurity would simply flee. Unfortunately, who you are before you get married is who you take with you into matrimony. If you feel insecure and unloved as a single girl, you’ll carry that into your relationship. If you feel indifferent and aimless before the big day you can’t expect vision and inspiration after the ceremony. If you don’t know where you want to go in life, it’ll be hard to navigate when you’ve got two people wrestling over the driver’s seat.
Does that mean you have to have it all together before you wed your dream boy? Heck no, sweet friend! Does that mean you have to be completely confident in every facet of your being? Certainly not. What’s important is not where you find yourself, but the direction you are facing.
We can all be women who choose to look to true north and begin to live from love, not aching for it.
As a newlywed, the mantra, “Happy wife, happy life” became the cornerstone of my thinking. I believed my husband’s primary job was to keep me content, live up to my expectations (which were sky-high) and make me feel loved at all times. You can probably guess that kind of attitude didn’t lead to a very happy life, for him or I. After being married a few short years I began to realise no matter how much he loved me, adored me or swept me off my feet, I was left unsatisfied. Because you see, no matter how much water you pour in, if there’s a hole in the bucket it will always run dry. No matter how perfect your Mr. Right is, he can’t keep you happy all the time, and the truth is, it’s not his job too. It’s yours, and mine. So fall in love with yourself, before “you” becomes “we”.
Become a woman marked with grace, confident and compassionate, aware of your shortcomings and mature enough to ACKNOWLEDGE them.