I‘ve seen so many young women desperate to get married because they believed it would fill that tiny hole in their heart and make them feel complete. If I am totally honest with you, that young woman was me. Subconsciously I assumed when I became a wife, any sense of self-doubt and insecurity would simply flee. Unfortunately, who you are before you get married is who you take with you into matrimony. If you feel insecure and unloved as a single girl, you’ll carry that into your relationship. If you feel indifferent and aimless before the big day you can’t expect vision and inspiration after the ceremony. If you don’t know where you want to go in life, it’ll be hard to navigate when you’ve got two people wrestling over the driver’s seat.
Does that mean you have to have it all together before you wed your dream boy? Heck no, sweet friend! Does that mean you have to be completely confident in every facet of your being? Certainly not. What’s important is not where you find yourself, but the direction you are facing.
We can all be women who choose to look to true north and begin to live from love, not aching for it.
As a newlywed, the mantra, “Happy wife, happy life” became the cornerstone of my thinking. I believed my husband’s primary job was to keep me content, live up to my expectations (which were sky-high) and make me feel loved at all times. You can probably guess that kind of attitude didn’t lead to a very happy life, for him or I. After being married a few short years I began to realise no matter how much he loved me, adored me or swept me off my feet, I was left unsatisfied. Because you see, no matter how much water you pour in, if there’s a hole in the bucket it will always run dry. No matter how perfect your Mr. Right is, he can’t keep you happy all the time, and the truth is, it’s not his job too. It’s yours, and mine. So fall in love with yourself, before “you” becomes “we”.
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